Parenting Toddlers & Teenagers for Ultimate Creativity

Parenting is the ultimate survival sport. For years, you cook meals, dress squirmy bodies, change diapers that even the "Dirty Jobs" reality show guy wouldn't touch. You bandage cuts, hold scared children in the middle of the night and read "Goodnight Moon" over and over again because it's your child's favorite book. You watch "The Land Before Time","The Lion King", "101 Dalmatians", or "Shrek" millions of times because your child never tires of the movie. You listen to "The Wheels on the Bus" every time you drive your child in the car.

When your child begins school, you help with countless hours of homework -- reading worksheets, spelling works, times tables and the inevitable science project, which usually involves letting food grow mold in petri dishes all over your kitchen for 3 weeks.

In all these moments of doing, it is sometimes hard to see the progress and growth your child is making. Then, one day, your child makes up a song, a story, a picture, or a play. You are amazed -- astounded -- with the sheer creativity of what they have done.

My younger daughter was a slow reader. She didn't like the regular Junie B. Jones or Magic Treehouse series. It was very hard to find books she had any interest in. Then she had a 2nd grade teacher who spent time helping her find the kind of books she liked. It took awhile. There were a lot of false starts. She had a quirky sense of humor. She just wouldn't read a book she didn't like. Slowly, but surely, she and her teacher found books she would read. She started to read more on her own. She started to seek different books out. Her vocabulary and reading ability grew. In 3rd grade, she lucked out and had a teacher who loved to read books to the class. The teacher did such a great job of making the characters come alive, my daughter would check out the books the teacher brought to life in the classroom and read them on her own.

In addition, my daughter had difficulty with spelling. She hated doing spelling tests. Every week was a struggle. It made no sense to my daughter that words aren't spelled the way they sound. Then she entered 5th grade. Her teacher expected the kids to learn Latin and Greek root words for spelling. This teacher challenged her in a new way to improve her spelling. She pushed my daughter to play with new words and descriptive sentences in her writing.

So last night, while I was fixing dinner, she started singing a song. She made it up on the spot. She was playing around with words and rhymes and the tune, "Do Your Ears Hang Low?" She was making up spectacular word sentences. She sings very fast, so I proved the words for you to read what she is singing.

Here is a video of her song:




Here are the words:

Sing to the tune of "Do Your Ears Hang Low?"


If you’re a dog, wag your tail like you just don’t care.
If you’re a cow, stomp your feet before you turn to meat.
If you’re a duck, flap your wings and learn how to sing.
If you’re an an-i-mal.

If you’re a worm, wiggle round to turn the soil brown.
If you’re a bee, when you sting make sure somebody screams.
If you’re a rabbit, flap your ears and then you’ll hear the cheers.
If you’re an an-i-mal.

If you’re a lion, when you roar, you’ll never hear a snore.
If you’re a zebra, show your stripes, make sure they’re not all white.
If you’re a frog, scratch your tongue and follow everyone.
If you’re an an-i-mal.

If you’re a horse, run fast and you’ll never be last.
If you’re a turtle, don’t worry. We’re in no hurry.
If you’re a bear, show your teeth, and please don’t eat me.
If you’re a giraffe, look up there. You’re way up in the air.
If you’re an an-i-mal.

All those moments you help your child learn -- MATTER. It may be years before you see where it all leads. You definitely need the help of some caring, creative teachers and mentors who take the time to help find your child's unique learning style. Every little game, song and story you play with your child is one cobblestone in the amazing road that your child walks to discover his or her own strengths and gifts. Enjoy the journey. There is nothing more important for you to do.

Helping Children Grow

I love Spring in the Northwest. After months of gray skies, torrential rain, hail, freezing winds, and snow, cherry trees start blooming. Its hard to capture the beauty of the blooming trees. You are driving along, surrounded by evergreens and trees bare of leaves and then you are astounded by a vibrant tree covered in showy, bright pink flowers. Its almost as if a cosmic artist reaches down from the sky one morning with pink, fuchsia, and purple brushes and says, "Today, this tree will burst with color."

Children are like that. Some bloom vibrant and showy. We know exactly where they are in their life journey. They always tell us what they want, need and desire. They usually love and are good at reading, math, sports, or music. Other children take much longer to bloom. As parents, we might get discouraged. We're not sure how to help them bloom. They may not be crazy about reading, math, sports or music. All school work is a chore. Getting them to sit still to read one book is practically impossible. They seem to jump from one thing to another.

As parents, one of the most important things we can do is empower our children to discover what they love and are good at. We also need to help them recognize and deal with the inevitable frustrations and plateau times that come when they learn a new skill that does not come easily.

TIPS FOR HELPING CHILDREN BLOOM

1) Show them different gardens

Children see the world we show them until they are old enough to move around for themselves. Give your children the gift of seeing how wide and different the world is. Take them to the zoo, the science museum, the candy factory, the ocean, the river, the forest, the history museum, the desert, the library, the art museum, the symphony, the flea market, the fish market, the local bakery. Walk different neighborhoods in your city. Talk about the different nationalities of people that live there. Take them to different grocery stores and let them experience how a Japanese grocery store is not the same as a Walmart. These are all different gardens in our world. Some of them your child will love. Others will only require a short visit before you realize your child is not interested. Take pictures of your adventures to help your child remember what they liked and what they didn't like.

2) Show them different gardeners

Introducing our children to the fact that individuals have an infinite number of differences is an incredible gift. Allowing them to experience people outside of their immediate family who are gregarious or shy, athletic or artistic, competitive or easy-going, technical or mechanical, verbose or taciturn, gives them different pictures of how people can be. While interacting with a variety of personalities, temperaments and intelligences, children realize everyone has a place of importance. In discovering this, they become more confident in their own skin.



3) Allow them to experience different ways of learning

As parents, we are our child's first teacher. Parents are also our child's most enduring teacher. We will be with our child through millions of moments of learning throughout their lives. As parents we can empower our children by helping them experience different ways of learning and to identify their particular learning style. Some children learn best verbally. Others learn visually by seeing something. Still others learn best by using their bodies to learn new skills. How can you discover your child's learning style? When helping them learn to read, pay attention to whether they like singing songs and rhymes, or picking out words and letters in their surroundings. Have them make letter shapes with their body, or shape them out of playdoh. Do they prefer telling you a story, drawing a picture of it, or acting it out? Encourage them to try all of these ways of telling a story and see which ones they are most comfortable with. See Michelle's book, "What Children Need to Learn to Read" for more ideas for reading activities that use different learning styles. When helping them learn to count, try using blocks for counting, or having them jump a certain number of times, or draw you a picture of a certain number of things. Try different board games to expose them to spatial, logic, sequencing and counting activities. For ideas, check out some of my favorites at Learnerslane.com

The miracle of children is that they are so open to learning. Some children might be shy and tentative. However, their love of learning something new and mastering a new skill will overcome any uncertainty, if they are given a garden of openness, encouragement and patience. They will rise to any opportunity we give them to explore new gardens in life if we give them the tools to bloom in their unique way. Start discovering new gardens today!

TIPS FOR BEING A SECRET MILLIONAIRE

My daughters and I have watched the Secret Millionaire show for the last two weeks. The show's idea is when a millionaire goes to a depressed part of town and lives incognito, looking for people who are doing good in their community. The millionaire lives on a welfare wage, in a very poor part of town and gets to know different community groups working to improve their communities. At the end of the show, the millionaire of the week reveals their identity and makes a donation to one or more groups they liked.

Last week featured Marc Paskin, who lived in Detroit for a week. He met a single mom who was raising her 4-year-old, while taking weekly kidney dialysis. She shared that her body rejected her kidney the same week her daughter was born pre-maturely at 27 weeks.

This week featured James Malinchak, who lived in Gary, IN for a week. He met a woman who was hiring people to go out and clean up piles of trash because she believed that it was possible to bring Gary back to its original glory.



All of us would love to be millionaires. We would love to have thousands to give away to groups helping others. We may not have a million dollars, but we can make a difference in other people's lives. Michelle met James Malinchak at a recent author conference and they talked about her book, What Children Need to Learn to Read, and agreed that being able to read well is essential for children.

Make sure people in your life know how special they are.

One of the most poignant scenes in Secret Millionaire happened when James Malinchak gave $20,000 to a woman who had set up an organization to clean up trash in Gary. She gave people jobs and she made the city cleaner. She was taking tangible steps to restore hope. She was a vivacious, positive, upbeat lady. She dressed with a beautiful sense of style. When John gave her a check, she burst into tears and said, "No one has ever believed in me like this."

As parents, it is essential that we take tangible steps everyday to make sure our children know we believe in them. There is nothing we do that is more important than this. Our children need to hear this loud and clear from us in a million different ways. Believing in them does not mean giving in to every thing they want and do. It means we make sure they know that we believe they will succeed in life.

Give your children the gift of education.

In the first episode, the single mom received a gift of $20,000. She started crying and said that she just wanted to buy some nice things for her daughter. At the end of the show the update showed that the young woman had decided to use the money to go back to school, so that she could get a better job. Education is critical. She understood that schooling is worth more than new shoes or clothes. As parents, every time we help our children learn, read books to them, teach them new words, make sure they know their math facts, we are instilling a love of learning in them that is priceless. Children who can read well, use math concepts easily and write critically, will be successful adults. Play learning games with your children. Build on their natural curiosity and energy. Use this to make sure that they love learning for the rest of their life.

Give to the causes that touch your heart.

In each episode of Secret Millionaires, James and Marc had a special bond with one or two people that they met. With our children, we always love them. However, there are certain causes or commitments our children have that especially touch our hearts. Some parents love taking their children to basketball 3 times a week. To other parents, this would be torture. Other parents love sharing their love of music and will take them to piano lessons for years. To some parents, music lessons are wasted time away from sports. Some parents are great with stories and language. Others of us are better at math. Know what you love and share that with your child.

Take care of the basics.

One of the individuals who touched James Malinchak was a basketball coach. This coach had helped a number of teen-age girls go to college by giving them opportunities in basketball. Because he wasn't making much money, he was close to losing his home. James decided to give him some money to help him so he could go on coaching. The man was able to pay off his mortgage and continue coaching. It is essential that we help our children take care of the basics so they can focus on doing what they love most. After good food, sleep and a warm house, the basics of learning to read, add and write are critical. Once these skills are mastered, our children can reach whatever dream they set for themselves.

Time is worth more than money

Every single moment you spend with your child helping them master new skills, learn fundamental things like the alphabet and phonetic sounds, and math facts -- comes back to you and to them 10 fold. You are investing in a life. What greater investment can you make?

Go out today and be with your children. Recognize all the ways that you are already a millionaire. Be aware of all the millions you receive in hugs, smiles, giggles and the music of your child's voice.

For new learning games to play with your child, visit
Learnerslane.com

How to Strengthen Your Child's Creativity?

Have you ever noticed how creative children are? A rock becomes a fortress. A tree becomes a house. A cloud can become a monster. Anything can become anything. Their imaginations are amazing. One of our jobs as parents is to strengthen our children's creativity. Some children are creative artistically. Some are creative in sports. Some are creative mathematically. Some are great at building. Each child has different strengths. We as parents can see that. Even in one and two year olds, it often is visible to parents and we can start building on it. If we can help our children give voice to their strengths, we give them a huge gift. In addition, as parents, if we can do that for ourselves, if it hasn't already been done for us, we help our children. We can share in each others creative strengths. For instance, if we have a child who likes to do jigsaw puzzles, it might be something we like to do too. In doing it together, it becomes a bonding activity that strengthens our relationship.



Recently, I was able to view a couple of the amazing structures at Brickon 2010 in Seattle. It struck me the lego builders were amazingly creative. One gentleman said that he only had 55,000 legos, whereas a number of other builders had 1,000,000 legos. People built these without kits, just from their own creativity. It was also a brick by brick by brick endeavor. One small, teeny lego on top of another small, teeny lego multiplied thousands of time over thousands of hours. Putting legos together, sorting them and figuring out how the legos were going to fit together. That was all part of the creativity process and the fun. To someone who doesn't like legos, this might be a form of torture. To someone who loves legos, it is work, but it is a type of work that you get lost in. It becomes a labor of love.




As parents, anytime we can help our children find the things that are their individual labors of love -- and task that they are willing to get lost in for hours and hours and hours while building one lego at a time, or one drawing at a time, or one note at a time, we are strengthening their creative muscle. Learning a sport is one kick, one throw, one run at a time. Writing becomes writing a sentence, then a paragraph, then a page, then a story. Each lego, each note, each word is a tiny step that builds into a beautiful creation that means something to each of us. As parents, if we can help our children find that thing that they love enough to build and then help them when they want to knock all the legos over because they are overwhelmed, or frustrated, or bored, they will take their creativity to levels we cannot begin to imagine.

TAKING CONTROL OF THE FAMILY SCHEDULE or WHAT SPIDER'S HAVE TO TEACH US ABOUT ORGANIZATION!!!

School has started. Homework is being assigned. Spelling words are being memorized. Lunches are being packed. The schedule is getting filled to the brim. The vacations we took this summer feel like a dream. Did they really happen? Bummer -- It's only September!

Often, the worst part of the start of school for moms, dads and caregivers is the loss of control. Evenings and weekends are no longer leisurely and relaxed. The are crammed with helping with word problems, correcting punctuation, folding laundry, calming a frazzled child's nerves and making sure everyone gets into bed at a semi-decent hour. It's a feeling of being caught in a web of someone else's making.



In the Pacific Northwest, fall is spider time. Each morning brings a new artistry of spider web magic in corners of porches, alcoves of doors, across walking paths and hidden in bushes. The most beautiful webs are the ones that have survived a slight morning mist or rainstorm and are covered with little diamond shaped water drops illuminated by the morning sun.




To a spider, the web is a beautiful work of order and precision. It goes between two to four points. Then weaves marvelously around in little squares or rectangles until a bigger web is completed that will catch some nourishment, some delicious protein for dinner. If you're the spider's dinner == if you're caught in the web -- it's yucky. We all know the feeling. It's sticky. It's claustrophobic. We try to pull our legs out as fast as we can.

Imagine, for a moment, the power of weaving your own web. You have a family you love. You want the best for them. Schooling -- sports -- good dinners. You also want family time. Quiet moments together just laughing. Unscheduled times where the games come out. Gentle times where you color together or finish a couple of pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. So -- weave a web for your family. Mark off a couple of squares in your calendar for totally free time. It doesn't have to be long. 15 minutes is one little spider web square. It's enough time for one game of King's in the Corner. Yet, taking that 15 minutes makes you the Web Weaver for your family.

Get out the Play dough and practice making letters with your toddler. It's one of the activities in "What Your Children Need to Learn to Read" by Michelle Vallene. Your child will have fun and you will feel more relaxed when it's over. Just for fun, get out a box of Raisin Bran and see if you and your child can actually count how many raisins are in the box. It doesn't matter if you get the correct number. It matters that you weave the web of some fun, silly, unscheduled time with your family.

Be a web weaver today. Make it a beautiful web for your family. Go heavy on the special web squares of laughter, hugs and tickling. These are the things that make every family web really strong! Happy weaving!!

HOW TO CHALLENGE TODDLERS & PUPPIES!!!

We added a puppy to our family this spring, Bailey. As with all puppies, kittens and babies, he is energetic, inquisitive and curious. He runs when he could walk. He bounces everywhere, starting first thing in the morning, jumping out of bed, excited to see what new adventures will come his way.





We showered him with puppy toys. Squeaky toys, red and orange balls, toys that hide food, stuffed animals just for puppies. One morning, while I was working on my computer, Bailey walked past all his toys and started trying to pull one of my daughter's toys off the windowsill. It was really hard for him to reach. He had to stand up on his two hind legs. He would push it with his nose to get it closer to the edge of the windowsill. Then, he would rest on all fours for a few minutes and stand back up on his back legs. He repeated this for several times before he was able to grab my daughter's toy with his teeth from the windowsill. He proudly carried it over to his blanket and laid down and started chewing on it. I took it away from him.

He walked past all his toys again. Went over to the windowsill and repeated the whole exercise again. Up on hind legs. Reach for toy. Rest a little. Back up on hind legs. Stretch a little more to try and reach toy. Rest. Stand up. Finally reach toy. Carry it proudly over to blanket. Sit down and start chewing on it. Have it taken away. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

After a few days of this, I realized that Bailey really didn't care what he got in his mouth. He cared about the CHALLENGE. He wanted something more demanding that just a pile of toys on the floor. So, he went for the ones that were harder to get -- out of reach -- slightly beyond his two front paws.

Our children need challenges also. They need toys, games, activities which are just enough out of reach that they have to stretch for them -- stand on their tippy toes -- try something they haven't tried before to figure it out. Creating challenges for our children is as simple as putting blocks in a tupperware container with the lid on and letting our children figure out how to get the lid off. If our children aren't ready for writing, we can encourage them to make letter shapes with mismatched socks from the laundry. Using one of the activities from Michelle Vallene's, "What Children Need to Learn", they can write letter and number shapes in shaving cream on the kitchen table while we make dinner. Our children, like Bailey, will create their own challenges. We can help direct them by providing windowsills with different skills and activities and challenges. See "What Children Need to Learn to Read".

If you would like some more ideas, visit our website, Learnerslane.com or feel free to e-mail me at klittle@learnerslane.com

The Magic of Fountains

Suzie and Michelle’s most recent picture of their travels is of the fountain in Central Park in New York City. There are two things I thought about when I saw this picture. One is water. Have you ever thought about how free water is and how much children love water? They love just putting their hands in water – running in water – stamping in water – getting wet in water. The best kind of water is water they are not supposed to be in as opposed to a bath. The amazing thing about water is how natural, easy and free it is. It isn’t hard. In it’s softness, it can wear down anything. It can wear down rocks and mountains. In that way, it is incredibly strong. You would never expect that it could be that strong.

The other thing I thought about this square is that if you’ve ever been to New York, or the center of most big cities, there seems to be an area where no matter when you go, there are people around it. The water seems to draw them there. There are jugglers and dancers and singers and people just sitting on the fountain, looking and watching and being with other people.

Children seem to know innately that they learn better when they are interacting with other people, especially with people they love. When it’s natural and easy, they learn easier and faster. This art of learning in a natural, easy way is what Michelle’s new book is about. “What Children Need to Learn to READ” is full of ideas and activities that make learning a part of our everyday lives. It is full of dancing, singing, playing, rhyming games that make learning to read as easy as flowing water. These are the types of activities that children are naturally drawn to and love. They do these games easily and in the process, become strong readers.

As parents, we try many different things to help our children learn. We buy videos to make our kids smarter. We purchase piles of workbooks with sticker activities that sit unused in our cupboards. Many times, we come back to those things which are simple and easy and that our kids ask for, because they fit in our lives. These are the things our children are drawn to the most. We encourage you to check out the activities in “What Children Need to Learn to Read”. Go to our website and look for our free downloads at LearnersLane.com. Let us know what you think.

In the meantime, go play in a fountain!